My Life in a Bottle - 40 pack

This tract tells how I was a young man living life (going through the motions), but I was dead inside. I was very troubled in my spirit and thought that drinking was my only way of escape, only to find that my drinking was not the real problem. My problem was a life without God.
 
MY LIFE IN A BOTTLE
 
As a young boy, I started drinking in my pre-teen years and doing all the things that kids with problems do, for example, lying, cursing, stealing, provoking others, evil deeds, running away, hiding out from law enforcement, and more.  At about 14 years of age I was a pretty heavy drinker.  I went to all the parties and drank anything that I could get my hands on.  It was easy for me to get invited to parties, due to the fact that I was a very popular guy in high school.  My first alcoholic beverage of choice was beer.  I remember one night at a party, sitting with a friend drinking a case (24 count) of beer, getting drunk, and then sobering up before the case was finished.  
 
When my money was tight (small amount), I would drink wine, because it was a cheap drink at ninety-nine cents a gallon.  And of course, there was always a heavy price to pay after drinking until intoxicated, like vomiting, dizziness, nausea, more vomiting, head spinning (like after too many carnival rides), upset stomach, slurred speech, uncoordinated, moodiness, confusion, anger, sadness, and loss of perception.  I also experienced memory blackouts, like waking up in someone's car and not knowing how I got there or where my car was.  
 
The Bible sums it all up when it says, "Wine is a mocker (a person who causes repeated emotional pain, distress, or annoyance to another), strong drink is raging: and whosoever is deceived thereby is not wise." (Proverbs 20:1)
 
The not so funny thing was the promise to myself, after a night of heavy drinking, to never drink again; only to find myself breaking the promise that I made the night before, of "not to ever drink again."
 
Isn't it odd how we find ourselves being our own worst enemy?  The fact was that my drinking was more of an addiction than a pleasure.  I was a very troubled teen that needed something other than drink to fill a very big hole in my soul (heart). I found that drinking was a way to escape (hide out) from what was really going on inside myself. While in my intoxication, I felt safe.  I felt free to express myself however I chose.  And at other times, I even felt invisible to others. 
 
Unfortunately, my freedom of expression and my feelings of invisibility got me into a lot of trouble and proved to be just the contrary.  I thought that a stronger drink would provide me with the much-needed relief that my soul longed for. 
 
Because the pain was so great, I found myself buying a stronger drink when I had a few extra dollars in my pocket.  I felt like 80 proof vodka would fill the ticket.  I had no problem finding someone to drink with, or to buying a drink or two or three for.  I had heard in the past that "misery loves company."  I found that there was always someone that would join me in my drunkenness and folly (lack of good sense; foolishness).  "A fool and his money are soon parted." (Dr. John Bridges, 1587) 
 
After I got married, I was still on my journey to self-destruction.  I found myself drunk, once again, and in a high-stakes dice game.  And, I was losing my pay check that I had worked so hard to earn.  Proverbs 21:17 says, "He that loveth pleasure shall be a poor man." 
 
I was a young man with a family that depended on their father to provide for their security and wellbeing; but the truth was that, as much as I cared for them, I cared more for liquor and myself. 
 
I was hooked on the drug of alcohol, and I knew I was too weak to fight it all by myself.  There is a saying that goes "sin will take you farther than where you want to go, keep you longer than you want to stay, and cost you more than you want to pay."   Well I was paying all right: the price was too high, my shame was too great, and my sin was too heavy.   I was officially a drunkard, with face down on the pavement, and a drooling alcoholic.  
 
I recall kneeling one morning at my bedside.  It was early, my wife was asleep, and I was drunk and crying, asking for my wife's forgiveness. I really wanted her to know that I was truly sorrowful for my sins.  
 
Romans 5:8 says, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
 
I was a young man living life (going through the motions), but I was dead inside (walking dead), looking for something or someone to take away my pain and my sorrow.  With nowhere else to turn, and with a heart of repentance, I found myself looking up and crying out to God for help.  Well, the God of heaven heard my prayers, the prayers of a sinner in desperate need of a Savior and friend.  And even in my drunkenness, He invited me to stake a claim on His holy promise of peace, and I did just that.  
 
Jesus gives us a wonderful promise when He says, "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden (burdened with a load of cares), and I (Jesus) will give you rest." (Matthew 11: 28)
 
The whole truth is that there are many people, young and old, male and female, who are suffering in pain and in shame, all by themselves, with burdens too heavy to carry. 
 
You don't have to suffer. You don't have to carry your pain by yourself any longer.  Let Jesus do for you what He did for me.  Accept His invitation to bring you the peace you so long for.  Call to Him just as you are, and lay your burden down at the cross of Calvary.  
 
Your fellow laborer in Christ,
B.V. Monjarez, B.R.E.